State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Randomize
