Where did you get a picture of my penis
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
