So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
