don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
