Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
