All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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