That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize