I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize