doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
