I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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