I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
