Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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