if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize