I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we made out on top of his cat.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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