So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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