There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize