were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
