I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
