who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
