what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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