You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cockslap morals
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
