Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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