okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
