Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
