Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
