What did we do last night that was yellow?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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