How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
