So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize