I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
