Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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