He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
