He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize