Quick, to the slutcave!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got inside last night via doggy door
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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