I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
