So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
