My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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