Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
