I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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