Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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