Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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