I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
