NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
