If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
