I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
