Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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