in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
