no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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