she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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