i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
