help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Randomize
