It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
