I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
