Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
