I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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