Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Randomize
