mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
