Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
